Harry Potter and the Riddikulus Epilogue Book 7
by succedissidor
Summary: Get the scoop on Book 7 before it is released! This is pure silliness, and contains no actual spoilers. OR DOES IT? No, it doesn't. Rating is for repeated mention of 'strippers.' I will update until the new book comes out. I plan on doing EVERY character.
1. The Saga of all Sagas

This has been broken into bite-size pieces, and revamped just a bit, please forgive me!

A/N it's almost that time again- the new book will be released in about two weeks, and the saga of Harry Potter will finally be told in full. i, however, happen to have a copy of the exclusive epilogue to the series, in which we discover the fates of all of our favourite characters… perhaps these are predictions- OR ARE THEY SPOILERS? Well, read ahead. The answer will become clear very quickly.

Disclaimeratus Nonlawsuitius! i do not own Harry Potter, or any of the million-odd other characters in the books. i'm holding out for Percy Weasley, though…

**AND SO: Harry, Voldemort, Ron, Hermione, Snape, Neville, Bellatrix, and Percy**

Harry and Voldemort die. Together. On page 734. The event is marked by a single kinda vague sentence ("The struggle was evenly matched, punctuated with cries of "Harry and Voldemort- yeah!" and then the crowd fell silent... no.") and isn't confirmed for another chapter and a half, at which point the story of the lamp/blood debacle is revealed.

The death scene for Harry is tragedy in its purest form. Finally confronting the evil Lord Voldemort, Harry smashes his head in with a table lamp. Unfortunately, he then trips into a puddle of blood, not realizing the lamp is actually still plugged in. **BLOODTRICUTED**. They die together, as neither could live while both had 6000 volts of electricity coursing through them. However, no one is surprised by this, as the internet-provoked bookstore crash just ruined the ending for everyone involved.

Hermione and Ron hook up, but when she cheats on him with a redeemed Snape (who was indeed acting on Dumbledore's orders when he killed him,) all hell breaks loose. They go on to assault one another with folding chairs on the Jerry Zinger show. They forgive each other, while Snape is left in the consoling arms of an obese woman who flashed the camera for a free t-shirt. (Incidentally, if one squints, Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle are visible attempting to restrain Hermione. Their stellar work as bodyguards on one of daytime's most controversial talk shows led to their starring role on a spin-off reality series on Bravo. Wizard Bravo.)

Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood also pair off. They will eventually have retarded Catbus-from-Totoro babies, and actually will wallpaper rooms of their house with Drooble's Best Blowing Gum wrappers. Long before this, Neville exacts his revenge on Bellatrix Lestrange, forcing her to watch Lazytown in its original Icelandic until she too loses her mind and is ironically forced to live in the same St. Mungo's ward as the elder Longbottoms. It's okay, Gilderoy Lockheart shares his My Little Ponies with her, and the whole world becomes fractionally nicer.

In the meantime, Snape suffocates from a bit too much obese consolation. He dies a hero. He is mourned pretty much only by Dumbledore himself, who is chillaxing behind the black veil with Sirius Black, Harry Potter, and Lord Voldemort. Actually, Snape makes it there too... There are strippers, fruity drinks, and free iTunes downloads for all eternity. The veil is indeed passable from the other side, whereupon those who have fallen into the land from whose bourne no traveler has e're returned _can_ return, but the gang has found out what dreams DO come, and they are good dreams indeed.

PERCY WEASLEY IS REVEALED TO BE A DEATH EATER. As he was spying for Dumbledore, and mentored by Snape, there is pretty much no one left to vouch for his continued good-guy-ness. He is forgiven by his one true love and she designs a full-sleeve irezumi to go along with the Dark Mark. Percy and she are married in a beautiful wedding in Fiji, but the marriage is soon dissolved as he is a fictional character while she is a sad, deluded girl. Unfortunately, no-one _else_ forgives Percy for being a Death Eater, even though he WAS a spy, and he moves to Japan. He is tragically killed when he enters a Yakuza-run bath house with the wrong tattoos showing.

A/N- for those who have already read these, there will only be minor revisions in the bits I have already done. It should be easy enough to pick up where you left off, as the character names are in the chapter titles.


	2. Lupin, Tonks, Trelawney, Creevy, Weasley

Continuing on with the original first chapter:

**Epilogue: Lupin, Tonks, Dobby, Winky, Trelawney, Sinistra, Zabini, Colin Creevy, Mad-Eye Moody, Bill and Charlie**

Remus Lupin realizes he's gay, and Tonks realizes she's a Mary-Sue and disappears in a haze of bubbly pink lemon scented air, the vaguest outline of her stunning amethyst eyes lingering in the air as crystalline diamond tears slide down her non-corporeal alabaster cheek. Lupin breathes a sigh of relief and trucks it for that black veil. He's heard a rumour about strippers, and even gay men are fascinated by titties.

Dobby checks Winky into a 28 day rehab center, and they both learn valuable life lessons. Professor Trelawney finally reads her leaves correctly and realizes that she hates Firenze so very much because of her burning passion for him. A moral conflict involving bestiality arises, and looks to be irresolvable until McGonagall reveals the depth of her prowess in human transfiguration. Sybil the Centaur is much happier and she and Firenze run away to the Americas. On a boat.

Professor Sinistra finally plays a part in the proceedings- it is very important.

Blaise Zabini goes on a quest of personal discovery to understand why he has evolved from an irate Italian boy into an African supermodel. He goes on to write a best-selling novel about the experience, and later delves into fiction. His series of novels about heroic Southern lawyers with deeply ingrained moral values are among the most popular ever sold in American airports.

Colin Creevy becomes the new lead singer of Creed, which turns into an emo band in short order. They will be touring with The Fallout Boy Who Lived this fall.

Mad Eye Moody develops liver cancer from his abominable drinking habits. He dies tragically, attempting to magically eradicate the 'Dark Wizards' from his upper abdomen. His tombstone simply reads "damn sneaky little," his last words.

Charlie Weasley, after being thoroughly uninteresting for six solid books, finally does something worth note when he is eaten by a dragon. Bill Weasley is revealed to definitely be a Werewolf. He and Fleur also appear on the Jerry Zinger show, but do not hit each other with chairs, as this is one of those episodes where you are supposed to watch and think, "Gee, it is so sweet that love can survive such hardship" and secretly thank a deity that YOU do not have to clean werewolf pee out of the carpets.


	3. Draco, Myrtle, Weasleys, Strippers

Continuing on with the first chapter.

Epilogue: Draco, Myrtle, Ginny, Pansy, Molly and Arthur, Strippers, Fred and George

Draco Malfoy at last confides his painful secret to Moaning Myrtle, and with her help soon the entire wizarding community is introduced to Dracine. She is very pretty. His father dies of shame while still in Azkaban Prison, but his mother is ecstatic. She always thought Draco was a bit of a girl, anyway.

Myrtle herself opens a discreet shop in Hogsmeade, called simply "Moaning Myrtle's." As it is widely known that she has always hated that nickname, a group of students pop in to check it out. They are scarred for life, but at the same time, they finally learn what 'butt-plug' means. They vow never to speak of the experience again, but all keep a business card handy, just in case.

Both having been abandoned by their respective boys, Ginny and Pansy finally decide to become Lesbians. No, they do not suddenly become homosexual, they move to the isle of Lesbos to open a tourist trap wherein dwells the still-singing head of Orpheus, and they also sell wicked grey pottery. They are very happy. Molly and Arthur are very thankful to finally have a house NOT full of children. Molly currently runs the wizarding world's first Planned Parenthood chapter.

Cho Chang became a stripper. Susan Bones? Stripper. Hannah Abbot? Stripper. Penelope Clearwater? Stripper. Ernie Macmillan? Stripper. Romilda Vane? Exotic Dancer of the Stripping variety. Dolores Umbridge? Well, she calls herself a stripper but she'll do just about anything for an extra 20 Galleons. Oliver Wood plays Quidditch by day, but overlooking the erotic comedy of his own name, he takes the nom-de-plume "Sean Biggerstaff" and features every Friday night at the Magic Wand. (It is not the most imaginitive name for a strip club, but Bucking Broomstick, Wizard's Staff, Perfectits Totalus, and Chubb's Jiggle Joint were already taken.)

Fred and George Weasley discover Anime, and after watching Ouran Highschool Host Club, are never quite the same again.

PS - If i ever open a magic themed strip club, i am one hundred percent calling it Perfectits Totalus. i called dibs.


	4. Schools, Peeves, Potters, Dursleys

Continuing with the first chapter.

****

Epilogue: Hogwarts, Durmstrang, Beaubatons, Peeves, Filch, Mrs. Figg, Potters, Dursleys

Hufflepuff is gone. After only having six kids sorted into it in seven years, it gets the hint and packs up quietly in the middle of the night. In the morning, the other houses can't find any of her things, and wonder if it is odd that they aren't sorrier for their loss. The sorting hat feels a touch of regret, wondering if he had just put more kids into Hufflepuff instead of Slytherin, would the world have less Death Eaters and more inconsequential, forgettable middle managers?

Durmstrang continues to rock. Other schools who witness the majesty of Durmstrang Get Served. They all Get Served, because Durmstrang Brings It.

Beauxbatons wakes in the middle of the night screaming, having had a bad dream where it was an all girls school, but then just realizes that that was the movie and no one really cares.

The Ghosts remain pissed that they are dead. Peeves is put on Ritalin, and discovers a new side to his personality- one that involves staring blankly at walls for hours at a time. Filch is locked in a secret passageway for two weeks, and has to choose between eating Mrs. Norris or his own leg to survive. He still patrols corridors at night, but the steady thump of his wooden leg alerts students to his approach. Mrs. Norris is still a bitch. In a similar situation, Mrs. Figg chooses to eat the cats. She has no regrets.

Lily and James are still dead. They do not get any more interesting. Petunia and Vernon die. They remained fairly one dimensional until the bitter end.

Dudley, on the other hand, discovers Planet Fitness, which has personal trainers and unlimited tanning for only twenty bucks a month. After shaping up a bit, he discover his true calling: Stripper. (He also raises rare tropical fish.) Piers Polkiss is his agent. They are surprisingly successful. There is an abundance of slash fiction written about the two of them, but no rumours are ever confirmed.

Aunt Marge was not, in fact fixed by the ministry. That is revealed to have been a lie. She was actually caught in the engine of a 747, causing it to down suspiciously close to the Bermuda triangle and stranding the 26 passengers who survive the crash on an island mysteriously containing Polar Bears and conspiracy.

Wow, this thing is long…


	5. Flitwick, Giants, Gryffindors With Names

Continuing with first chapter.

****

Epilogue: Flitwick, Giants, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson, Alicia Spinnet

Professor Flitwick goes with Hagrid, his new wife Olympe, and Grawp to the northern lands to bring HDTV technology and iPhones to the giants. No-one know what they hope to accomplish by this, and no-one finds out, as none of them are heard from again.

Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas wander too close to the Forbidden Forest, drunk from post-Voldemort-destroying festivities. Clues from the scene indicate that they were eaten by Thestrals. CSI: Hogsmeade Unit provide a disturbing re-enactment posing that neither boy could see the Thestrals at first, but since Seamus was eaten first Dean saw him die and therefore was horrifyingly aware of his own imminent demise. Either that, or they were tragically splinched attempting to apparate to Cancun for a bitchin' spring break, joining Lee Jordan, who built an empire by persuading girls to flash him on camera. "Wild WET Witches" is still an international success, currently at volume 13 with bonus side feature, "School of Sexcraft and Witchery: Sassy Students" in a two disc set for the introductory price of twelve Galleons. (Cancel any time.)

Katie Bell, Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet download personalities from the internet.. Unfortunately, it is an illegal download and they are tossed in Muggle jail. There they meet Paris Hilton, and recruit her onto their new all-girl Quidditch team. They are all murdered in their first match against the Holyhead harpies. Literally murdered. Those girls are vicious

WOW that was a lot of crap. I put back in all the little bits that somehow were deleted when I uploaded this the first time, and hopefully de-tangled it just a bit… and now! ON TO THE ADDENDUMS!


	6. Addendum: Mundungus and Slughorn

**Epilogue: Mundungus Fletcher and Professor Slughorn.**

With thanks to Immortali.

Mundungus Fletcher realizes one fateful morning that, with Voldemort finally vanquished, the local law enforcers will have much more time to concentrate on the petty criminals. He sets out to reform himself by joining a monastery where he has vague dreams of one day becoming a true Luchador. One night, he has a terrible relapse and steals a valuable set of silver candlesticks and sets out to become a fugitive once more. He is roundly apprehended by the authorities, but the Priest residing at the monastery takes pity on him and vouches for his innocence, giving Mundungus the candlesticks in exchange for his immortal soul. (One would think he was buying the soul for God, but he just collects them.) Mundungus does change his ways, adopts a little girl, takes part in a rebellion, and later dies of old age surrounded by those who love him.

Professor Horace Slughorn decides that merely having powerful friends is not enough, and he wants to join the big leagues himself. He drinks an entire bottle of Felix Felicis before playing the Wizard Lottery one night and hits the 98 million galleon jackpot. He currently resides on a private island in the Caribbean, with a real working pirate ship at his perpetual disposal, and a lifetime supply of crystallized pineapple and oak-matured mead on hand. He has been known to wander the island clad- rather curiously- in a swath of upholstery fabric, yelling 'Where's the mead gone?' when it is quite obvious that is has gone into Horace.

Charges of copyright infringement on the Dsney Corporation's intellectual property are pending.

This is fun. I will add a chapter for anyone who has a good suggestion of a character I have not done yet, or expand any character I have not fully explored. Okthnxbyebye.


	7. Addendum: Buckbeak and Kreacher

**Epilogue: Buckbeak and Kreacher**

With thanks to a late-night, early morning double whammy.

As most people remember, Buckbeak was transported to Hogwarts under the assumed name "Witherwings." Prior to his move, he was left locked in an upstairs sitting room of 12 Grimmauld Place for nearly three months. With Sirius recently deceased and all of his supposed friends preoccupied, one lone hippogriff tends to slip from memory. While thus imprisoned, he begins to contemplate the relative insignificance of his life and the impact that a single being could have on the world. After the fall of Lord Voldemort, he decides that his groundbreaking philosophy needs to be released upon an unsuspecting world. Adjunctus Requinax:  revolutionizes and rocks the philosophical world, sparking a debate that will last for generations. Advocates claim that the book, when read properly, reveals the deepest secrets of life and the universe. Those looking to discredit the epic work claim that it is not a book at all- it is, in fact, a pile of dead weasels.

Kreacher, loathe to admit Harry Potter as his master, is delighted when Harry expires. Reverting to his former mistress, the screaming painting of Mrs. Black, Kreacher is asked to perform more and more absurd tasks. The last time anyone sees him, he is shuffling down a deserted road toward Brighton, dragging the now-unstuck painting and mumbling something about synchronized swimming.

a/n- yes. I can't keep my tenses straight. So have sued me. : )


	8. Addendum: Peter, Snape, Luna and Dracine

Epilogue: Peter Pettigrew and the expansion of Severus Snape, Luna Lovegood, and Dracine Malfoy

With Thanks to Willowbranch and camillebananpeel

Peter Pettigrew is not used to being alone- he has always had a master, and he wants to keep it that way. Unfortunately for the world, he likes having preteen boys as masters just a bit too much. When Voldemort falls, Peter trucks it to the nearest pet shop in rat form, hoping to be purchased by a delectable slice of young boymeats. Instead, he finds himself in the possession of the most demented young man in London- little Billy, a wizard who also happens to be an enormous fan of American cartoon shows. Peter is unceremoniously dumped into an aquarium with four cowering turtles, and the five terrified creatures have an entire potions cupboard worth of ingredients dumped over them while a kung-fu movie marathon plays in the background.

Sadly, none of them spontaneously evolve into fearsome fighting teens- mostly they spontaneously evolve into a mushy goo. Peter manages to morph partially back into his human form before expiring, and is posthumously convicted of grand high treason, conspiracy, murder, and nasty pederasty.

Severus Snape, having been miraculously cleared by the Ministry of all suspicions against him, attempts to return to a normal life. The problem is, Snape has never had a normal life and thus has no idea how to go about obtaining one. In his desperation, he turns to the internet for answers. He discovers a site dedicated to fictional stories that, for some reason, involve himself and people he knows in situations that are definitely not canonical. However, in these stories his character often experiences a complete turnaround of personality when he finds that 'special someone'. That special someone is Harry Potter more often than not, and Snape finds himself immensely relieved that Harry is dead, and thus intimate situations are thankfully impossible. A close second to Potter, however, is Hermione Granger, and Snape dwells more and more on the plausibility of the union. He sees his opportunity when she gets bored with Ron Weasley, and thus begins a most scandalous and lemony affair. However, when they are found out by Ron, they are dragged on a syndicated talk show to confront on another. Sporting bruises on both his body and his ego, Snape is forced to relinquish his claim on Hermione. However, serendipity grants him a rebound in the form of an obese thirty-six-year-old grandmother named SueAnnIrene. Her love, like her girth, is nearly limitless, and for a few shining moments, Snape feels contentment in her arms. Then he suffocates. His demise is ruled an accidental death by the courts, and although he has been proven undeniably innocent by the Wizengamot, no one is very sad about his passing. Except SueAnnIrene.

Luna Lovegood has never much minded her role as a second string comic relief character, but she is a touch hurt by the fact that her real contributions to plot and character development are often overlooked. Late in her seventh year, she happens to wander past the Room of Requirement while wishing desperately that there were some sort of support group for major-minor characters who need a bigger fan base. The door appears to her, and when she opens it she finds Neville Longbottom. (Percy Weasley, Oliver Wood, Pansy Parkinson, and Professor Sinistra are also present, but they are in the background being supporting characters, while Neville is, for once, the star, complete with theme song.) The romance that has been threatening to blossom for years- well, for as long as Luna has been around anyway- finally explodes with brilliant force. Luna and Neville have a whirlwind romance in the very depths of Wizard War II, and are actually married during the climactic battle scene wherein Neville exacts his revenge on Bellatrix Lestrange. From this point on they lead extremely happy, somewhat dull lives.

Dracine Malfoy is so happy to finally be free that she decides to take a road trip across Australia with her best friends Fantastique and LaVaginay in their pink tour bus Drusilla. Trouble appears, when there is threat from the overly-macho men in a small outback settlement, however, Dracine convinces everyone in the small town that compassion and friendship override even the strangest of habits. Everyone gets fabulous and highly exaggerated makeovers, done to an upbeat Abba musical montage. Once on the road again, the 'girls' discover how much they truly love and need each other, and that sometimes… just sometimes… you find a true family n your friends. Everyone all together now: "We are family! I got all my sisters with me!"

This is such good times, guys. I wish I _were_ writing book seven. If nothing else every damn loose end in the book would be tied up. It might all end up as a Gordian Knot, but them bitches would be tied up…


	9. Addendum: Lavender, Patils, and Marcus

**Epilogue: The Patil Twins, Lavender Brown, and Marcus Flint**

_With thanks to Argenteus Draco_

The Patil Twins and Lavender Brown have been best friends all the way through school, so it is only natural that they decide to hate each other violently immediately upon graduating. Lavender has always believed that she is prettiest and most popular, while the twins believe the same of themselves. When Padma is crowned "Miss Prisoner-of-War" in the Death Eater hold where all three are confined, all hell breaks loose. Parvati claims she should have won, while Lavender insists that they look exactly alike, and should be disqualified. Their intense fight sorta freaks the Death Eaters out, and they release the girls, who go on to become major stars of direct-to-DVD movies. Padma and Parvati most notably star in a remake of "The Parent Trap," although the word 'parent' has been replaced with something quite obscene. Lavender prefers more highbrow fare, including her best selling "A Streetwalker Named Desire," and "A Tale of Two Titties."

Marcus Flint wakes one morning, looks in the mirror, and realizes that if he doesn't do something soon, he will end up just like his father. Desperate to avoid an impending, Death-Eating midlife crisis, he decides that if he intends to make a change, he must start with the man in the mirror. He goes to a cosmetic dentist, and magical things happen. (Literally, actually.) When he realizes how much more self-esteem and confidence he feels with his fabulous new teeth (not to mention the smoking' hot babes) he knows he has found his calling. He is now a featured guest on an American television programme wherein the object is to take ugly people and make them pretty people. Some mornings he wakes with a violent urge to kill all muggles and mudbloods, but he usually gets over that by breakfast. His dashing good looks, dark past, and delightful accent captivate American audiences.

Rachel Ray declares him to be "Yum-O."

Oi. I think I forgot to do Umbridge… Guess she'll be up next.


	10. Addendum: Umbridge and Krum

****

Epilogue: Dolores Umbridge and Viktor Krum

With thanks to Found Wanderer

Dolores Umbridge is left with a pathological fear of horses after her run-in with the Centaurs in the Forbidden Forest, and in her rabid desire to escape any large four legged mammals she relocates to a lovely island in the Florida keys. There she dwells in a large and very expensive yacht, paid for with her ministry retirement fund. She decides she must have the most fabulous and expensive closets installed on her yacht to protect her collection of pink robes and cardigans, and thus she calls out an independent contractor. She takes an immediate disliking to him when he arrives. Being her opposite in every way, the contract man yells at her, calls her a selfish horrid person, and leaves without completing the job. Later that night, Dolores falls overboard. Unfortunately for her, the staff aboard the yacht do not like her and roundly pretend not to hear her cries for help. When she is washed ashore the next morning, she has no memory of whom she is. The news airs a short feature about her, pleading for anyone with information on her identity to come forward. By coincidence, the contractor happens to see the feature, and immediately goes down to the hospital, claiming she is his wife. The hospital is well glad to be rid of her. Although the man, whose name is Kurt, has planned to punish her for her earlier treatment of him, he instead begins falling for her. She becomes a surrogate mother for his three sons, and soon becomes a real part of the family. When she eventually regains her memory, she is terribly angry, but quickly realizes that she has found true love and a loving family, and she gives up her former life to stay with Kurt and the boys. Presumably, they still live happily in the Keys.

Viktor Krum, despite his status as the best Quidditch player in the world, longs for something more. Something rewarding, something competitive, something… glamorous. He packs up and heads to Central St. Martins immediately after this epiphany: he wants to be a fashion designer. At first the world is skeptical of his new career plans, but his evident talent with cut, and instinctive eye for colour quickly skyrocket his career. He becomes known as the bad boy of European fashion, effectively stealing the title from Alexander McQueen (wizard) and Nicholas Ghesquiere (muggle, but awesome.) Despite stereotypes, Krum remains a devout ladies man, and has been linked with everyone from Sienna Miller to Celestina Warbeck, whom he describes as "a MIDF, which is like a MILF but in the past tense." Wink, wink. Krum and his wandering broomstick provide plenty of fodder for the tabloids, but whatever the papers may say of him, the Design House of Krum becomes one of the most prominent in modern fashion history.

Woo! Only eight more days to go, kids!


	11. Addendum: Bode, Dennis, the Grangers

****

Epilogue: Broderick Bode, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Dennis Creevy, and the Grangers

__

With thanks to AurorWriter

Broderick Bodes' last thoughts, as he was strangled to death by a Devil's Snare, involved the shoddy healthcare system in the magical world, and a tiny pang of regret that he would never be able to play My Little Ponies with Gilderoy and Bellatrix. Well, and, of course, 'ouch, being strangled to death by a plant hurts.'

Kingsley Shacklebolt is thoroughly disappointed by the actor portraying him I the third movie. He is quite certain that his eyes don't look like they are being squeezed forcefully from his head. Still, it is an indignity he will learn to live with. He decides to capitalize on the huge spate of new Sirius Black fan girls by selling the rights to his enormous photo collection. He calls it the "Kiss! Kiss! Prisoner Love Spectacular Ai Ai Sirius Black Doki Doki Funtime Super Serial." Its sales pay for a comfortable future far away from the stress of his former job.

Most people assume that Dennis Creevy would be jealous of the fame his brother has garnered as the new front man for Creed, but this is not true. The Creevy brothers have always been friends, and remain so. However, Dennis does receive a spark of inspiration from his brother, and forms the band "My Potion-Enhanced Romance." They claim that they aren't Emo, but their fans suggest otherwise. They also claim that they are, in fact, Not Okay, but we all know that this is a lie, because they are rolling in the Galleons since their newest album "The Black Charade," (a concept album about the Black Family) has gone triple platinum.

Hermione's Parents, whom we shall henceforth refer to as Dick and Jane Granger, are still happily dentisting away outside of London. The shenanigans on the Jerry Zinger show were a bit embarrassing, prompting a long holiday to France, but after all settled down they were content to return home. They are now the proud grandparents of quite a number of loud, know-it-all redheads with perfect teeth… although the oldest has dirty, dark hair, and a decidedly more jaundiced appearance than his brothers and sisters…

I think I may do the Death Eaters next… getting ready to bust out the Wikipedia Character lists. I had hoped I wouldn't have to do it…


End file.
